Chapter 12:
Shadows of the Mind
Akira dropped to the ground, exhausted from running. Everything seemed to whirl around her.
Why do I keep thinking about all this? she thought desperately.
She breathed deeply, trying to think of something happy. But all she could hear was Touma and herself screaming at each other, the noise bouncing off the mountains and coming back painful to her ears. All she could feel was coldness, and lingering, imagined pain from long-healed injuries.
She closed her eyes tightly, trying to block everything out, but nothing worked. She didn't notice the long, jagged shadow that cast itself before her. Her Digivice started beeping uncontrollably again and glowing brightly.
She put her hands over her ears and screamed.
Seita heard that scream echoing from the mountaintops, and his heart jumped. “Akira!” He started running toward the sound, Kodamon and Gazimon following him. Kodamon glowed a bright cyan blue and evolved to Kodiamon without even thinking.
“Hey!”
They all stopped and turned around to see Tian and Kyuubimon coming toward them.
“Are you all okay?” Tian asked, “Where are you going?”
“We're fine,” Seita replied, worried. “But Akira got separated from us, and we're trying to find her.”
“She's alone?” Tian's eyes widened. “Oh no! We have to find her before Devimon-”
“Wait a minute!” Seita stopped her, “Who?”
Tian took a breath, impatient. “Listen, has there been anything in your head that's been nagging at you all the time we've been here?”
Seita thought a moment. “No... I don't think so. Why?”
Tian stared at Seita in amazement. “Okay...” She regained her composure quickly. “Well, anyway, there's a Digimon around here that's been screwing with all of our minds – except for yours, I don't understand that – and making us relive our worst memories. Devimon's gotten to me, and Kei, and to Jun and Mana, but not so bad. I don't know about Yuka-”
“She'll be fine.” Seita said firmly. “I know that.”
“If you say so,” Tian continued, “And Akira...”
Seita looked down. “I think he's gotten to her too...” He started running again. “But not if we can help it!” He pulled out his Digivice and glanced at Gazimon. “Get ready!” The Digivice glowed...
Devimon laughed as he approached Akira, sitting on the ground below. He could sense everything that was going on in her mind. Before he could get closer, he was knocked unceremoniously out of the air.
“Fist of the Beast King!”
“Fox Flame Dragon!”
“Chrome Claw!”
Devimon spun wildly. Then, righting himself, he saw the group of Digimon who attacked him and the kids they were partnered with, and bristled with anger. “Why you-”
“Heaven’s Knuckle!”
“Cat Punch!”
Devimon was flung through the air again, this time in the other direction.
“Gatling Arm!”
“Swift Secret Punch!”
Devimon ducked and barely missed being hit by the two attacks. He landed, then faced the barrel of one of Galgomon's guns.
“Hi again!” Galgomon said cheerfully, “Remember us?”
Kei ran over to where Akira was and her eyes widened, horrified. “Akira!” she cried, “Is she okay?” she asked Tian.
“I'm not sure,” Tian replied frantically, “but try not to worry.” She was trying not to worry herself.
Seita beckoned to Jun and whispered into his ear. Jun nodded reluctantly, then turned away.
“Come on!” he yelled to the others, “We have to get Devimon away from here!”
Mana looked at him, confused. “But-”
“Just do it!”
Mana nodded quickly, and got the two youngest girls to go with them.
All the Digimon followed, except for Kyuubimon, who stayed for a little while longer. She went over to Tian and Seita, who were trying to rouse Akira from the state she was in. When they saw her, they moved away.
Kyuubimon placed one of her paws on Akira's head, and closed her eyes. “Everything's a jumble...” she said, “Nothing's making sense... but some definite feelings I can sense are anger, frustration, fear... and pain.”
Seita looked at Akira in worry. “What can we do to help her out of this?”
Kyuubimon stared into his face. “You'll have to be here for her and help her sort out all those memories. Give her support.”
“But how?” Tian asked.
“Make some sort of contact with her,” Kyuubimon replied, “Hold her hand. Because of the state of things right now, it'll be easy to sense whatever she's thinking.”
“Are you sure this will work?” Seita said skeptically.
Tian thought a moment, then took one of Akira's hands. “We have no other choice.” She looked at Kyuubimon and nodded.
Kyuubimon did the same, then turned to join the others in fighting.
Tian looked at Seita. “Come on, Seita, help me out!”
Seita blinked and hastily took Akira's other hand. It was cold. He swallowed and closed his eyes, waiting for the memories to flow...
Akira stared at her father in disbelief. “I'm what ?!”
“You're going to Washington D.C. to visit your mother,” he repeated, “Next week.”
“No- what did you say after that?” Akira asked him, her voice trembling. She prayed she had heard wrong.
Her father sighed. “You're going to stay with her and her family for a year.”
“A year?” she shouted, jumping up. “But why? School just started three weeks ago! And I don't want to spend a year in a place I know nothing about!” She started pacing.
Her father shook his head. “This was not my decision. Not fully, anyway. Your mother and I… we talked it over… and we agreed that you would live with one of us – a year with me, a year with her.” He took a deep breath. “Starting now.”
Akira stared at him. “Couldn't you just say no, or not yet?”
“No. Your grandmother also insisted that you go.”
Akira's jaw dropped. She turned toward her grandmother. “What? Grandma?” She looked at her pleadingly. “Why?” But she didn't get an answer.
The next day, after school, Akira walked home with Tian, venting her feelings about her upcoming trip.
“So, I take it, you don't want to go?” Tian asked, tentatively.
Akira's head snapped toward her. “Are you kidding? Of course I don't want to go! Just when everything was going right…” Her eyes narrowed. “The soccer team was counting on me to lead them to victory this year… And we actually have teachers this year who aren’t mean or annoying… And…” Her eyes widened in horror. “And I’m going to miss graduation!!”
Tian looked back at her in surprise. “How long are you going to stay over there?!”
“An entire year!” Akira shouted.
Tian stared at her, too shocked to say anything.
“My mom said it’s better this way, so we’ll have more time to get to know each other again,” Akira replied bitterly. “If she really wanted to spend a lot of time with me, she shouldn’t have waited seven years to finally say something about it!” She shut her eyes. “It’s not fair…”
No one said anything for a while. Tian just stared at her sadly.
“An entire year…” Akira murmured softly. “What am I going to do, Tian? You're not going to be there, so who am I going to have to talk to?” She glared. “What if all the boys end up being like my next-door neighbor?” She shot an angry glance in the direction of Seita's house.
Tian sighed. “Well, at least you'll get to see your mom again, and you'll get to meet your half-sister.”
Akira didn’t answer her.
“Or maybe…” Tian smiled a little, “Maybe you'll find yourself a boyfriend there!”
Akira scowled and folded her arms, refusing to look at Tian all the way home.
On the morning of her departure, Akira got out of the house and started putting her things in the car. On her third trip, a voice interrupted her thoughts.
“What's going on?”
Akira looked up and saw Seita standing on the sidewalk. He was staring at the huge suitcase she was carrying, then staring at the car. “I'm leaving,” she said grudgingly.
“I can see that, but why? And to where?” There was a disbelieving look on his face.
Akira scowled at him. She was in no mood to talk. “None of your business!” She plopped her suitcase in the trunk, walked over to the front, and yanked the car door open. “ Moron !” she shouted, slamming the door. She could hear her grandmother apologizing to Seita, but she didn't care. She spent the time before her dad drove them away trying not to look at Seita through the window.
Tian pulled away from the memories, taking a deep breath. She remembered that conversation with Akira, not long ago. She didn't know then that it would be the last time she'd see her friend the way she used to be.
Seita remembered Akira's outburst before she left, and couldn't help but feel hurt all over again. Akira's grandmother had eventually told him that she was going to America to visit her mom, but he had never expected her to be gone so long. Every once in a while, he'd stop by her house and visit her grandmother, asking for any news at all regarding her.
One evening, a couple of months after Akira had arrived in D.C., she entered the house and ran into Touma.
“Where's Mom?” she asked, looking at him warily. Not again... she thought frantically.
“Away,” he answered. “Where have you been?” he asked her, in that freaky, quiet voice she had begun to fear.
“I was at the neighbor's,” she replied, slowly, “One of my classmates was helping me with my English homework.”
Touma scowled. “Next time, you tell me when you're going to be late. For all we know, you could be going out with people we know nothing about!”
“I don't have to listen to you,” Akira said softly, almost as a whisper, “You aren't my dad!”
Touma's head snapped around. “What did you say?” He had a dangerous expression on his face.
“Nothing.” Akira looked away and was about to go upstairs when Touma grabbed her arm.
“Listen, young lady, as long as you're in this house you will do as I say, no questions asked. Understood?” He gripped her arm tightly.
Akira didn't answer. She winced as his grip around her arm tightened.
“You'd better understand,” he continued, “or else-”
“Or else what?” Akira shot back. She tried to pull her arm away. “Let go of me!”
Touma glared at her some more, then let go. Akira shot a dirty look at him and ran up the stairs, rubbing her arm. The next day, there were bruises showing on it.
Another day, while Akira was dressing for school, she stared down one of her arms at the new black and blue marks she got, and looked at them with disgust. She pulled on a sweatshirt that covered them fully, and was about to leave the room when she noticed something sitting on the clothes pile that she didn't notice before. She picked it up.
It was a pair of yellow goggles with clear lenses and a black band. She stared at them, then remembered how she got them. Her grandmother had given them to her before she left. For luck, she had said. Just in case. At the time, Akira had accepted them just to make her happy, having no idea what to do with them. Now, thinking about it, an idea came to her. She slipped them on her head.
There, she thought. Now, if Touma decides to rip my head off the next time he goes bonkers, at least he'll hit these instead of me! She smiled playfully, having found a reason to wear the goggles. She left the room and met a very sleepy Kei on the stairs.
“Good morning...” Kei yawned. She almost walked by her when she looked up suddenly and pointed at the goggles on Akira's head. “Where'd you get those? They look cool...” She yawned again and walked toward the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
Akira rolled her eyes and laughed softly. She looked at herself again before leaving. They do look pretty good, actually, she thought, rushing out the door.
Seita opened his eyes and smiled a little, despite having a strong urge to find Touma and punch his head in. He glanced at the goggles on Akira's head. He'd noticed her wearing them on her first day back home. He agreed with her – they did look good on her. But he wouldn't dare say that in front of her.
The trembling of Akira's hand in his reminded him of their predicament. He gripped her hand again and closed his eyes, ready to help her through what was coming next.
What came next was a jumbled mess of loud, chaotic memories swirling around in Akira's brain. It was getting harder and harder for her to focus.
A flash of Akira watching Touma and Kei from a distance, talking to each other with smiles on their faces. Then Touma looked up and, seeing Akira watching him, his expression changed to a glare.
I don't understand.
There were some times when other people were around, when we could talk to each other, just a brief exchange, without it becoming a shouting match. Sometimes we were almost civil. But most times, especially when we were alone, he'd look like he wanted to murder me or something...
Why was he acting like this only around me? What did I do?
A flash of the family at a parent-teacher conference. The teachers raved about how much Akira had been improving in class and how high her grades had gotten, almost hitting the straight-A mark. Kyoko beaming with pride, while Touma remaining absolutely unmoved.
Another memory, one of Akira watching Kyoko and Touma from the stairs. Kyoko commenting on how well-behaved Akira was for the past month or so, with Touma not saying a word.
I improved in school. I tried to be good. Wasn't that good enough for him?
Tian was trembling as she traveled through those memories. So this was why Akira had changed so much over the course of a year. She had known before that something had happened between Akira and Touma, but she never knew it was as bad as this. She began to wish that she could have helped her in some way.
At this point, Akira was aware of things around her. She could feel Tian's shock and sadness, and Seita's anger. It was beginning to upset her.
Why didn't I say anything? Why didn't I let someone know what was going on? It was just getting worse and worse!
Was it because I was scared?
A memory of Akira looking down the street ahead of her while walking home from school. She saw that one car was missing in the driveway of their house. She groaned. Mom wasn't home today, and probably won't be home tonight either. Tonight... Akira stopped dead, trembling all over. She knew what would happen tonight, what happened every night her mom wasn't home. She was scared. Then, she sighed in resignation. She might be scared, but she had to come home sometime. She couldn't not. I'd have to face him again anyway, she thought, Might as well get it over with. She sighed again, as she walked toward the house.
No. There was another reason...
Akira wracked her brain, trying to remember.
I was...
A flash of Touma sitting alone, rubbing the back of his neck, his face contorted in pain.
A flash of Akira watching him from the other room and noticing a strange, dark grayish-black aura coming from the spot on his neck he was trying to soothe.
A flash of Touma looking up suddenly and catching Akira looking at him, a concerned look on her face. The pained look on Touma's face disappeared, replaced with a look of pure anger. His eyes flashed. Akira said something, her concern turning into fear. Touma shouted something back in return, and smacked her on the cheek. The force of it sent her reeling into the banister, cracking the lenses of her goggles and making an odd cracking sound in her left arm.
I was...
A flash of Akira sitting at the table a couple of weeks later. Her left arm was in a cast and sling and there were bandages on her forehead and cheek. Her goggles lay near her on the table, the clear lenses replaced with transparent blue ones. Akira observed Touma from behind the enormous medical book she was reading, waiting for Touma to have the strange neck problem again. She flipped a few pages, read a little, and frowned. Nothing matched the symptoms she had seen. Then, glancing at Touma again, she saw the telltale symptoms. She got up quickly and walked out of the room, carrying her goggles and the book with her good arm. It wouldn't be good to stay there.
I was trying to find a cure.
Akira opened her eyes in amazement. “I was trying to help him...” she whispered, speaking again for the first time.
“What?” Seita blurted out.
“I was trying to help him,” Akira repeated. “There was something wrong with Touma. I was trying to find out what it was.”
“What was it?” Tian asked.
“I don't know,” Akira answered, frustrated. “I don't think I ever found out, but I tried.” She closed her eyes. “Something was hurting him and making him act the way he did around me. The abuse... it wasn't entirely his fault.”
“You're kidding!” Seita said hotly. He put a hand on Akira's left arm, then held her hand tightly. “He did all that to you, and it wasn't his fault?”
“No.” Akira looked at Seita seriously. “No, it wasn't.”
“How can you be so sure?” he demanded.
”I- look, I just know, okay? I don't have an explanation!” Akira shot back. Actually, the answer might have been there, but like most other memories she had, trying to remember it was like trying to keep ocean tides from flowing away. Akira sighed in exasperation, then calmed down. She at least had an answer to something, and that was enough to bring her back to herself. “That's why I kept going through all that, without telling anyone what was going on or what I was doing. I had to find proof that he wasn't himself those times. I had to find a cure for him.”
At that, all three of them could hear shouts and explosions from ahead. The three of them looked at each other in horror.
“Devimon!”
They ran ahead, and arrived just in time to see Angemon flung away and changing into Patamon again. Many of the other Digimon had de-evolved as well. The only ones still standing were Kodiamon, Leomon, and Kyuubimon, and they didn't look very well.
Jun saw them come and ran over to them, worried. “He's too strong for us! All of a sudden he got bigger, and now nothing works on him!”
A very large Devimon shifted his gaze from the three tired Digimon to Akira, an ugly frown on his face.
“I see you've come back to yourself,” he said, dangerously quiet. “And to think I believed my plan was working...”
“You can't take any credit for what's happened to me, Devimon,” Akira said, loud and clear. “I brought it on myself.” She shot him a piercing glare, and Devimon twitched in anger. Tian and Seita ran toward her and held her hands.
“But what you did,” she continued, shaking with rage, “Making my friends feel the same way I was feeling...” She closed her eyes for a split second, then opened them again. “That's unforgivable!”
A strange thing happened after that. The space in front of the three of them began to glow brightly, and three objects began to form.
In front of Akira, a small stone pendant emerged, with the symbol of a sun engraved into it. In front of Seita, a pendant with the symbol of a circle with two waves on the sides, and in front of Tian, a pendant with the symbol of a heart.
The three pendants glowed, and merged with the light of their three Digivices. Kodiamon, Leomon, and Kyuubimon began glowing as well.
“Kodiamon, super evolve to... Helamon!” A large bear with gray fur and golden eyes emerged. Standing on all fours, her limbs, torso, and head were covered in gold armor, with a large gold cannon mounted on her back.
“Leomon, super evolve to... GrapLeomon!” A more muscled, spiky-maned Leomon appeared, covered with silver armor and grapples on his wrists and ankles.
“Kyuubimon, super evolve to... Taomon!” Kyuubimon became more human-like, dressed in an ancient robe.
Everyone stared at the three Digimon in shock and awe. Was it possible? The three of them had evolved again!
“Super evolve…” Jun murmured in amazement.
Devimon snarled and attacked, or tried to attack, while being hit by three attacks at once.
“Solar Swipe!”
“Lion Whirlwind Kick!”
“Talisman of Light!”
Devimon writhed in pain, but recovered enough to slam a section of the ground with a fist. The ground started to shake violently, making a large crack appear. Dozens of Black Gears shot out, speeding through the air.
Akira ducked as a couple of them shot over her head. “Watch out!” she shouted, pulling out her Digivice. “Take cover!” She aimed the Digivice at a cloud of gears, and a light shot out, obliterating them.
“They're... all coming out of the ground?” Jun blurted out in disbelief, “So this place is the source of them all-” He dodged a gear, and pulled out his Digivice, following Akira's lead.
A few of the gears grazed across Taomon and GrapLeomon, however, when they were unable to dodge them. They fell to the ground, de-evolving.
Helamon leaped around, incinerating some with her flame-filled paws, and landed directly in front of Devimon.
“You've made it plain that you hate us, Devimon,” she said, smirking. “You're going to hate this even more.”
The air around her began to shimmer. The temperature rose a few degrees, and she shined a bright gold. A thin spherical barrier of energy appeared, surrounding her, Devimon, and the hoard of Black Gears.
“Say goodbye, Devimon,” she said calmly. “This time, for good.”
The light and heat surrounding Helamon, Devimon and the gears increased by tenfold, then a hundred, then over a thousand, and was still contained in the barrier she had created around them. Akira stared at it for a second, mesmerized. Then, a fuzzy, cloudy recollection came to her, followed by a shocked realization.
“My God...” Akira's eyes widened. “Everyone, get out of here! Get as far away as you can!”
No one moved.
“Come on!” she urged, “Go, go, GO!”
They all ran off in different directions, away from the increasing ball of energy, and hid behind large mountain walls. Akira dove under a large slab of rock and plugged her ears.
Helamon took a quick glance behind her and, seeing that the surrounding area was clear, decided to let everything go.
“Solar... Expulsion!”
A beat of silence fell over everything. No sound. No movement. Time seemed to stand still.
Then, a tremendous explosion. Everything within the radius of the energy ball simply went up in flames, except for Helamon, who jumped away untouched. The outer reaches of the energy ball were just a few yards away from where everyone else was hiding, but Helamon's barrier held.
After about five minutes, which to them felt like five hours, the flames died down and the spherical barrier disappeared.
Everyone emerged from hiding and stared, speechless. There was nothing left of whatever used to be there – no mountain, no rock, no Black Gears, and no Devimon. Helamon was the only recognizable thing that came out.
Akira ran over to her. “You could have given us a warning!” she said, flustered. Then she smiled and threw her arms around Helamon's neck. “But then, seeing that again was spectacular!”
Helamon glowed, then shrank, becoming Kodamon again. “You remembered?” she asked, a tired smile on her face.
“I remembered that big bang,” Akira replied, “but not the poor soul who got it the first time around.”
Seita stared at her, confused. “I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you remember something weird.” He winked. “For now.” He walked off, leaving her puzzled.
“How did you... do that?” Jun asked Kodamon shakily.
“Well... that was a little something that I could do,” Kodamon replied, “In case of an emergency. Very strong, very effective...” She breathed in and out heavily, then flopped down on the ground, exhausted. “But a killer on your nerves right after you do it,” she murmured, putting her paws over her eyes.
Everyone laughed, then quieted down to let Kodamon rest a little.
Tian examined the pendant around her neck, a thoughtful expression on her face. She turned to Akira. “Why do you think we got these... things? And why only three of us?”
Akira shrugged, staring at hers. “I don't know. I know we got them for a reason, just like there's a reason we're here in the first place. We'll just have to find out.”
“So...” Jun said after a long silence, “What do we do now?”
“Ugh.” Mana looked around her and shivered. “I will eternally hate this place. Remind me never to come here again!” There was laughter, but everyone was on edge.
Akira sighed. “Come on. Let's get out of here.” Everyone smiled gratefully.
As they all walked away, Seita went over to Akira and took her hand. “Are you okay?”
Akira looked at him and nodded. “Yeah.”
Seita said nothing. He couldn't stop staring at her arm, the one that had broken and healed. There was a sad, sympathetic look in his eyes.
Akira noticed this. “It's okay. Really.” She smiled. “I'm over it now.” Seita looked at her again, then nodded.
They walked on, and Akira was lost in her thoughts. She wondered – did she really get over everything that had happened, like she said? The sickness or whatever that Touma was suffering from – what was it? She wished she knew. It was one of many things that nagged at her mind. There was something she was missing – something important, maybe more than one, and she couldn't remember what it was.
The sound of giggling pushed the thought from her mind. She looked behind her, and saw Yuka and Kei whispering to each other and glancing at her and Seita. They saw her looking at them and giggled again. Akira looked up and saw Tian smiling at her. She looked at Seita and noticed he was still holding her hand.
“You can let go of me now,” Akira said, smirking.
Seita smiled wickedly. “What? Tired of me already?”
Akira glared at him, then smiled. She playfully whisked her hand out of his. “Not yet.”