Chapter 17:
Mutual Understanding
In a room engulfed with flames, Akira stumbled over to a small glass chamber, coughing and weak. She shut herself in, and watched as everything shimmered. She breathed deeply, trying to clear her head. A wave of pain enveloped her, and she winced, clapping a hand to the back of her neck.
Rion had left hours before, and she had promised to return once her job was done. But something had gone wrong, and Akira had been forced to leave now. She hoped that Helamon would win…
She coughed again, violently, and whimpered. The pain in her neck was becoming unbearable. Through the shimmering and smoke, she could see a flash of golden light and feel a blast of searing heat. Then she felt more pain. Intense pain, as if her bones were on fire. Everything whirled around her, and she collapsed…
Akira woke up to a blinding light shining over her head. She slowly opened her eyes and squinted, unable to see her surroundings clearly. All she knew was that she was in a strange, white, sterile-looking hospital room, and she was lying in an unfamiliar bed. For a couple of minutes, she wondered what had happened to her, how she gotten there, and for how long she had been there. She tried to move, and painfully found out she couldn’t. She then noticed that her arms, legs, and almost everything else had been bandaged heavily, and an IV was strapped to her left arm. She closed her eyes and tried to relax. Over the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor , she could hear soft, hushed voices.
“Any news?”
“She’s fine, now. She’s finally sleeping peacefully. No more nightmares.”
“That’s good, at least we won’t risk having her hurt herself anymore. But living through an accident like that – I wouldn’t blame her for having nightmares.”
“They’re saying now that it was a bomb planted by a terrorist group.”
“And how many of us are actually going to believe that?”
“That blast was so sudden and so strong – there was almost nothing left that you could see for a whole block! What else could it be? And the poor girl… the doctors are saying that it was a miracle that she lived through it! Any other person would have died!”
“I remember that she was murmuring strange things all the way to the ER… something about explosions, crests, digital – somethings… and she was calling out a name… I don’t remember what it was.”
“Do we know who she is now? Has anyone come forward?”
“Yes. Her mother filed a missing persons report about three weeks ago, and there was a man who came to us and identified her as a relative. He gave us a lot of detailed information on her, then left.”
She could hear the sound of something being passed, and papers rustling.
“…This is extensive… where was this guy from? The government?”
“No idea.”
“Hmm… Her name’s Akira Mitsuishi. Age, 15. Japanese national. Some of her relatives live here in the States, and she actually lived around here for about a year… She was supposed to leave for Japan weeks ago – a couple of days after she landed in the hospital, as a matter of fact.”
“Poor kid. Her family over there must be worried sick. Have they been notified?”
“Yes. Her father is flying over to see her and should be here tomorrow.”
Akira could hear a disturbance in the hallway. There were heavy footsteps, and the sound of something being rolled across the floor. She heard another, louder voice address the others, and it sounded oddly familiar.
“Excuse me, but this area is now under government control. I highly suggest you leave.”
“Oh, you… you’re the man who gave us that information on this patient!”
“As of now, she’s no longer your concern.”
Akira heard more footsteps, and assumed they had already left. Then she heard someone approach her. She slowly opened her eyes, and they widened when she realized who it was.
“…Touma?”
Touma said nothing, and he turned around and gestured to someone to push a strange metal rectangular box toward him. It had lights and dials on it, and a wire connecting to something Akira couldn’t see. He stared at Akira with a cold expression.
“What happened to me?” Akira asked weakly, “How did I get here? What are you doing here?”
T ouma shook his head, “You don’t need to know.” He roughly placed a strange instrument on her head, and she winced with pain.
“But-” she protested.
“Don’t ask questions!” he snapped. He pulled out a hypodermic needle, filled it with a strange solution, and injected her with it.
She was out like a light.
Later, she was awakened by more voices, different ones than before. She opened her eyes a crack, and saw that she was in the same room. She tried to remember what had happened in the past few hours, but all she could remember were a few flashes and bits of conversations that were hard to make sense of. Finally, she stopped, closed her eyes again, and listened to the conversation in the room.
“So?”
“The procedure was successful, sir. Every recollection within the first two or three days that she was missing has been blocked.”
“Good.”
“Are you sure it was safe to try this program on her? It’s experimental, after all. For all we know, we could have damaged her mind beyond repair. If your wife knew, she would never forgive you!”
“You just said that the procedure was successful.”
“Yes… but there was a small discrepancy.”
“Which was?”
The person asking the question sounded very familiar, but Akira couldn’t place it.
“The memories she had within the time frame you suggested… it was far more than three days’ worth.”
“Excellent. That was just as I expected. As for brain damage, there’s no harm done. She just won’t remember certain things. And believe me, if you had any clue about what she’s done in those two or three days, you wouldn’t want her to remember it either. If she knew… it would spell the end of everything as we know it.”
The other person murmured a reply too soft for Akira to hear, and then she heard footsteps leading away from the room.
She dozed off after that, and some time later, she felt a hand shake her roughly, and a small voice called her name.
“Akira? Akira, wake up!”
Akira groaned and slowly opened her eyes. There was a little boy with brown eyes and black hair standing over her, a tired but ecstatic smile on his face.
“Akira!” he exclaimed softly but happily, “Thank goodness! I was looking all over for you ever since the ambulance took you away, and when I finally found out you were here, the lady at the front desk wouldn’t tell me where you were,” he babbled, “but I followed some weird-looking guys and when I peeked into this room, there you were!” His smile got bigger. “I was so worried about you – I thought you were going to die… your cuts were so bad! But you’re okay!” He waited for an answer, and when he saw the confused look on Akira’s face, his smile faded a little. “Akira? What’s wrong?”
“Who are you…?”
The boy’s expression turned to disbelief, and then shock. “Akira… it’s me! Rion! Don’t you recognize me?”
Akira slowly shook her head.
“But, but… you have to know me! We just saw each other a few weeks ago! In the Digital World! Don’t you remember?”
“Digital World…?” Akira asked incredulously.
“Hey! Kid! What do you think you’re doing?”
The boy jumped in surprise, and a man in a black coat ran up to him and caught him by the arm.
“This is a restricted area!” the man said authoritatively, “You’re not supposed to come in here!”
“But, I wanted to see my friend-”
“Do you know this boy, Mr. Nogami?” the man asked another person in black.
“No. I have no idea who he is.”
“Liar!” the boy spat, “I know you! You’re the mean guy who lives next door and hurts Akira all the time! I can hear you shout at her and make her cry every night!”
T ouma glared at him. “Get him out of here.”
The boy struggled. “No! Let me go! I just want to see her! Akira! Try to remember me – I’m Rion! Don't forget about me!”
“Rion…” Akira murmured, a frown on her face.
T ouma shifted his gaze to Akira, then turned to the other men in the room. “Get the headset. We’ll do the mind-block again. Get the kid out of here!”
Akira winced as the headset was forced on her again and she was injected with the anesthetic. The last thing she heard before blacking out was Rion shouting her name…
“Akira! Akira, wake up!”
Akira woke with a start, breathing heavily. She was sweating, and her heart was beating a mile a minute. When she calmed down, she looked up and saw Seita staring at her worriedly.
“Are you okay?” Seita asked, “You were having a dream.”
Akira breathed in and out, then nodded. She took a second to examine where they were. There were in a large, darkened cave, lighted only by a small fire. She stared through the opening on the other side, and saw torrents of rain falling.
“How long have we been in here?”
“Just a few hours,” Seita replied, “Kodamon and Gazimon said it’s not safe to go out yet, because the rain in this area can get so bad that floods happen all the time.”
“Where are they, anyway?”
“They’re somewhere around here. Exploring the tunnels in the back. I told them it was best to leave you alone for a while, and that you needed some rest.” He was sitting with his back against the wall, and seemed to be staring into space.
Akira stared at him with an unreadable expression. “Oh… okay.” Having nothing else to do, she leaned back and watched as the firelight made shadows dance along the walls.
Her mind wandered, and without her even noticing it, the shadows seemed to transform themselves before her eyes. She saw flashes of Devimon, T ouma , Rion at his worst… and a dark figure, dressed in a long, flowing black robe and carrying a long silver staff. Its face was concealed behind a hood…
Akira gasped, and hugged her legs to herself. She was trembling like a leaf.
“What is it?” Seita had quickly moved over and sat next to her.
Akira turned away. “Nothing… it’s just… nothing.”
“Are you sure?”
Akira closed her eyes tightly, and gave no reply.
Seita sighed. He really had no idea how to approach her. “Well…” he began slowly, “do you want to talk about it?”
Akira glanced at him from the corner of her eye. His gaze was making her more uncomfortable than she already was.
“No…?” she asked, indecisive, “Yes…?”
Images of Rion flashed through her mind – in the hospital room, happy, then shocked and dismayed… in the forest, smiling with evil, then shouting with murderous anger…
“NO!”
Akira tried to move away, and winced. Her hand went to her head.
“What’s wrong?” Seita asked suddenly.
“My head hurts…” Akira answered faintly, “Everything hurts…”
“Maybe you’re sick? Do you have a temp?” Seita came over and felt her forehead. He gasped. “Akira, why are you so cold? You’re shivering, too!” He held her hands and felt them trembling in his.
“Does this have something to do with your dream?” Seita asked softly. “Or is it the stuff you’ve been remembering?”
Akira didn’t answer.
Seita reached out and put an arm around her shoulders. “Tell me about it. Maybe I can help.”
Akira could feel the warmth coming from him, but the tumultuous storm of terrible images in her mind was still there. She saw the concerned look on his face and felt torn. She very much wanted to say “yes.” But then a part of her conscience seemed to wake up.
“No!” she shouted, pushing him away. “Leave me alone!”
Meanwhile, Kodamon and Gazimon were walking back toward the cave entrance when they heard shouts echoing down the tunnel. When they turned a corner and reached the end of it, they walked into the worst argument they had ever seen. Akira and Seita were standing a couple of feet apart and were shouting at the tops of their voices.
“Oookay… I think they need just a little bit more time than we thought,” Gazimon pointed out. He turned around, pulling Kodamon with him. “Come on.”
“Hey!” Kodamon exclaimed, “Let go!”
“Uh-uh,” Gazimon replied, “Not yet.” But Kodamon still struggled.
“Let me go!” she shouted, “Let me go to her!”
“No, no… it’s best to just leave them alone!” Gazimon replied, pulling her back.
“But, but-” she protested.
“No buts!” Gazimon grunted, yanking her away. When she tried to escape again, he turned around and whipped a paw in front of her face.
“Do you want to get knocked out again?”
Kodamon’s mouth opened, then shut. “W-what?” she stammered.
“Do you want to get knocked out again?” Gazimon repeated. “It would be much easier to deal with you then,” he said smugly.
Kodamon glared at him. “You wouldn’t.”
“Then come with me,” Gazimon replied, leading her by the hand. “Take a walk. Relax. Leave everything to Seita. I’m sure he can fix what’s happening with Akira.”
“You’d better be sure. The Digiworld help you if you’re wrong.”
They both disappeared into another tunnel. Akira and Seita, however, never noticed the Digimon were there in the first place.
“Go away!” Akira shouted and turned away.
“No.”
She stopped suddenly and turned to Seita. His head was down and his eyes were closed.
“No,” he repeated softly but forcefully. “Not until you tell me what the hell is bothering you!”
“I can’t!”
“Why not?”
Akira looked away. “I don’t want all of you to get caught up in something we can’t deal with.”
Seita stared at her, confused. “What?”
Akira began to pace, trying to clarify herself. “The memories I’m getting back,” she began, “A lot of them aren’t very clear. Some are, but others… I don’t know. Some things would happen, important things, but I’d never know how they happened! I wouldn’t remember what I did! I feel like there’s something I have to do, but I have no idea what it is! I don’t know what to do!” She stopped in mid-stride, and put a hand to her forehead. “I don’t know what we’re getting into! For all I know, I could be leading us all into something so deep that none of us can get back out! I could make just one decision and it could get us all killed!”
“But that’s exactly how it would be for all of us, not just you!” Seita said firmly. “No one can tell the future, Akira. All we can do is keep moving forward and hope that things will turn out right! We all trust you to make the right decisions.”
“You might trust me… but I don’t trust me.”
“What do you mean?” Seita asked. Then he looked at her suspiciously. “There’s something else, isn’t there?” he pressed, “You’re not just worried about us because you don’t remember everything, are you?”
Akira stared at him resentfully. “I’ve already ruined one person’s life and I didn’t even know it,” she replied, her voice cracking. “He was so mad at me that he wanted to kill me.”
Seita frowned. “You mean that evil, twisted, messed-up kid? Rion?”
“You don’t know how kind he was in the beginning!” Akira shot back. “I remember… he was an ordinary kid, just like Kei or Yuka! When I think about that, and then see what he is now, it hurts!” She shut her eyes. “Now I’m starting to wish that I never started remembering again…”
“You know that isn’t true,” Seita replied, “You know that you have to remember as much as you can! The safety of the world depends on it!”
“Safety, yes. But at what price? How many of us will be screwed up because of the decisions I make? How many of us will be hurt before this is over? I’m always wishing I could just handle these things myself and not have to worry about hurting the people I care about!”
Seita’s face darkened. “So you’d rather hurt yourself?”
“I don’t want you to get involved!”
Seita’s frustration grew, and he took her by the shoulders and gave her a shake. “Akira, you have to stop doing this! Don’t keep shutting us out!”
The shake alarmed Akira for a second, then she looked away.
Seita sighed. “You’ve changed so much, Akira. Before, you were never afraid to speak your mind! If you didn’t agree with something, or if something felt wrong, everyone would know it. You would tell people what they had to know even if it hurt! Why can’t you do that now?”
Akira was silent for a while, her eyes shut tightly as she struggled with giving him an answer.
Seita saw this and had a strange feeling that something similar to this had happened before. Then, in a flash, he remembered it.
An incident in school, a few weeks after Akira returned to Japan. By then, Seita had long realized that something was wrong with her. She continued to isolate herself from others, speaking only when necessary. She was unusually quick and attentive in class, and never played soccer anymore like she used to, aside from kicking soccer balls at him whenever he tried to ask her questions. She was also suffering from frequent headaches and dizzy spells, presumably because of the strange accident that she was involved in. One day, after one of those dizzy spells, Seita saw her come back to class from the nurse looking very depressed, and he had decided to do something about it…
“Hey…”
Akira looked up from her desk and saw Seita standing over her. “What?” she asked, looking indifferent. Her expression changed to confusion when he placed an envelope on her desk. “What’s this?”
Seita smiled. “Just something I want you to look at and think about before class starts again.” He turned around and left. He looked over his shoulder and breathed out in relief when he saw her open the envelope and begin reading what was inside it.
Ten minutes later, Seita was in the hallway when Akira walked right up to him and shoved the envelope back into his hands. She gave him an unreadable look, and started walking away slowly.
Seita stared after her, confounded, and quickly opened the envelope to see if she had placed a reply in there. He was even more baffled when the only thing he found inside was what he wrote.
“Hey!” he called out, catching up with her.
Akira stopped, and slowly turned around to face him. She looked as if she were steeling herself up against a dangerous enemy.
“Did you even read this?” Seita asked carefully, holding up the paper.
“Of course I read it,” she said blankly, “I just didn’t feel like answering it.”
Seita stared at her in disbelief. “Why?”
“You know what my answer would be,” she replied quietly, “So I won’t waste time telling you.” She continued walking, refusing to look at him.
Seita frowned, and walked in front of her, cutting her off. “Are you trying to avoid me?”
Akira shot him a mildly exasperated look. “Of course not. I’m just minding my own business. You’re the one who’s trying to poke your big head in it!” She said it forcefully, but began to look very unsure of herself at the same time. She tried to sidestep him. “Will you please move? Break’s almost over, and I have to get to class!”
Seita didn’t move. “Just give me an answer, yes or no.”
Akira looked away, an uncertain look sweeping across her face. Seita began to wonder if she would actually say “yes.”
“No.”
Seita’s heart sank. Of course. But then he saw her looking dreadfully upset after saying it.
She began to walk away, but right when she passed him, he stopped her by putting a hand on her shoulder.
“Wait!”
He could feel Akira tense up, and saw her lower her head. Since she was facing away from him, he couldn’t see the expression on her face.
They stayed like that for a couple of seconds, and in that time, Seita wondered what on earth could be bothering her this much.
He was about to say something to her when she snapped.
“Moron!” she yelled, throwing his hand off and turning around to face him. Her face was streaked with tears. “What made you think I would say yes?”
Seita was still staring at her in shock as she turned around and ran off, wiping her eyes. The hallway had gone completely quiet. Students watched as she ran past, then turned to stare at him. A couple of girls glared. Then, one of the teachers called out something, and the bustle in the corridor started up again. A few of his classmates started whispering loud enough for him to hear.
“Hey, wasn’t that Mitsuishi who just ran off?” asked a girl.
“Akira Mitsuishi?” another student asked, “That scary genius girl who hardly talks to anyone?”
A boy with messy hair nodded. “Yeah.”
The girl frowned, and shifted her glance toward Seita. “And, did he just…”
“Yeah.” The messy-haired boy sighed. “For about the fiftieth time this month.”
He walked over to Seita, a disapproving look on his face.
“All right, Kazama, what did you do this time?”
Seita looked at the messy-haired boy indignantly. “I just wrote her a letter!”
“Really?” He raised an eyebrow. “Are you still trying to ask her out?”
Seita ignored him for once and shoved the letter into the boy’s hand. “See for yourself,” he said, irritated.
The boy read it, looked at Seita, then looked down the hallway. “Man…” he intoned, “She must really hate you – she got that mad just because you asked if she needed help!”
Seita glared, snatched the paper back and started walking to class. “You can believe whatever you want!” he yelled, crumpling the paper up.
He saw Akira again later that day, but she walked past him without saying a word…
The memory faded, and Seita let out a breath. It was happening all over again – him trying to understand and connect with her, her pushing him away… would this one end the same way? Would he get an answer from her that he couldn’t deal with?
“I keep seeing it…” she suddenly whispered, startling Seita out of his thoughts. Her voice shook a little. “My bad memories run through my head, and instead of me in them, I keep seeing all of you. It scares me every time I think about it. So when I first realized it, I decided to keep away, distance myself, anything to keep you all from going through the same things.”
Seita’s eyes widened. So that’s why… Everything was beginning to make sense.
“And you… I’m afraid for you the most.”
Seita stared at her, shocked. “Why?”
Akira breathed in and out, deeply, and swallowed. “You probably haven’t noticed it, Seita, but you’ve changed as much as I have. Every time I see you now, I’m seeing how I used to be. Charging in to save someone important to you, without thinking… not really caring what would happen to you as long as that person is safe…”
She turned around and stared straight at him.
“You’ve seen some of what I’ve been through, right?” she asked shakily. “You know how many times I’ve almost died, right?”
Seita nodded faintly.
“I don’t want that to happen to you!” Her voice rose with every word. “I don’t think I could ever stand that!” Her eyes squeezed shut and tears started to fall. “I don’t want something to happen to you and I’d have to spend the rest of my life wondering if you’ll ever come back!”
Without even thinking, Seita pulled Akira close to him and pressed his lips to hers.
Akira froze, and her eyes widened in shock. Everything she had been thinking about before that moment had been knocked clear out of her head. Then, she began to relax, and her eyes slowly closed.
None of them knew exactly how long they had stayed that way. After a time, Seita opened his eyes and, realizing what he was doing, he quickly and clumsily pulled away.
Akira dropped onto the floor, eyes closed and breathing deeply with a fist over her chest. Seita landed next to her and quickly moved away.
“…I can’t believe I just did that…” Seita whispered in shock. His heart was racing. He closed his eyes and put his head down over his knees. Now he had done it. If she didn’t like him to begin with, she would absolutely hate him now. He braced himself for a slap, a punch, an angry retort…
“…That didn’t just happen, did it?” he heard her ask softly.
“Akira, I-“ Seita stammered, eyes as wide as dishes. “I’m sorry, I… I shouldn’t have done that, I… um…” He swallowed and shut his eyes. “I’ve gotta go… I’ll leave you alone now-“
He got up to leave, but then he felt her hand grip his. He froze, slowly turned his head around, and saw Akira looking away. Her face was a deep shade of red, and a faint smile was playing across her lips.
“No, don’t go,” she said, a little breathlessly, “I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
“But, I-“
“If it’ll make you feel better,” she replied, smiling, “we can just forget the whole thing happened. Okay?” She looked at him expectantly.
Seita didn’t know what to say. “Um, well… okay. If you say so.” He sat down with her, trying to avoid eye contact.
Akira stared at his uneasy expression for a moment, then burst out laughing.
Seita gaped at her. “What’s so funny?”
“You!” she giggled out, “You looked like the world was going to end! So serious!” She covered her mouth and laughed harder.
“But, I just-“
“Moron!” Akira lightly knocked him on the head. “It was just a kiss!”
“Just a kiss!” Seita replied incredulously, “I thought you were going to kill me!”
“What? Kill you? Why?” she asked, confused.
“Because, because…”
“You’re the only person who could piss me off and get away with it! Of course I wouldn’t do that!”
Seita had recovered a little bit from his shock. He blinked, stared at her for a second, and smiled. “Sure. No one can annoy you to death but me!”
Akira laughed again, and then silence fell between them. Her smile slowly faded, and Seita noticed it even though she tried to hide it.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Seita assured her, laying a hand on her shoulder. “You’re not alone. And no matter how much you think you have to be alone, you never will be. We’ll always be here to help you, whether you like it or not!” He smiled. “So let us know what you’re thinking once in a while, okay? And don’t worry about us getting hurt because of what you do. We’ll decide that for ourselves. Okay?” He looked at her expectantly, and was relieved when she nodded.
“When I think I’m ready, I’ll… I’ll talk to you. I’ll tell you everything, if you’re willing to hear it.”
“Sure.”
They were silent again, and after a few minutes had passed, Akira spoke up again.
“Seita?”
“Yes?”
“I just wanted to say… thank you.”
Seita turned to her. “For what?”
Akira looked down. “Well… for being there, for helping me even when I don’t want it, for giving me confidence… for everything, really.”
“Even for kissing you?”
Akira looked up sharply. “I thought you wanted to forget about that.”
Seita’s eyes widened. “No! I mean, yes- I mean-“
Akira laughed and squeezed his hand. “Whatever, moron !”
They were quiet again, and Akira slowly moved her hand away.
“Feeling better now?” Seita asked.
Akira sighed a little and smiled. “Yeah.”
Seita smiled back. “Okay.” He looked over toward the opening of the cave, and saw that the rain was starting to let up.
“I guess when Kodamon and Gazimon get back, we can tell them we can go and start looking for the others… tomorrow…” Seita stopped when he felt a light pressure on his shoulder. He looked down and saw that Akira had fallen asleep. He swallowed and began to panic a little, but when he saw the peaceful look on her face, he relaxed.
When was the last time I saw her like this? he asked himself. It seemed as if it had been years. He sat there for a while, thinking, and watching her sleep.
“I don’t want something to happen to you and I’d have to spend the rest of my life wondering if you’ll ever come back!”
He closed his eyes and made a fist with his free hand as he thought about what she had said. Had she really been that worried about him all this time?
The thought of it made him a little upset. Why would she be so concerned about him? Until recently, he hadn’t been very nice to her at all. There were times when she had been sad, upset, or hurt and he either wasn’t there to help her, or was there just to make it worse. And now, when he was finally showing some of his concern for her, she either didn’t want his help or was too wound up in her troubles that she didn’t realize he was there.
I would do anything to help you, he thought, if you would only let me. He gazed down at Akira again, a little sleepily, and held her hand again, remembering her smile after he’d kissed her. After what we’ve been through tonight, maybe you finally will. With that thought in mind, Seita finally fell asleep.
Later on, when Kodamon and Gazimon returned, this was the scene they came back to.
“You see?” Gazimon said eagerly, poking Kodamon in the shoulder. “I told you they would work things out!”
Kodamon brushed him away, but smiled when she saw Akira and Seita holding hands and sleeping peacefully.
“Well, I guess I can trust you after all.”